The Mysterious Mare Do Well

Dear Princess Luna...

Another Rainbow Dash focused episode from the looks of it.

There's actually an 'Official Rainbow Dash Fanclub' which is held in the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse, with, no surprise here, Scootaloo as the chairpony.

Are there..are there retarded ponies? One looks to have 'runs with scissors' as his mark.

 

They argue over what to dub Rainbow, thinking 'awesome' isn't good enough, and Rainbow herself suggests "super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing" from outside the window.

Who makes all this Rainbow Dash stuff? They have fake wings, mane wings, banners, posters, headbands, shirts, hats.

So clouds are apparently like water for pegasus, they can swim in them.

A cry for help interrupts Rainbow's 'sky swim' and she flies down into the Old Abandoned Well, rescues the little pony, then goes flying into the stratosphere.

Embarrassed by the crowd that somehow materialized out of nowhere,  Rainbow downplays her feat and flies off. The Rainbow Dash fanclub ponies, including the two of questionable mental capacity, state that she's "Something special."

A baby carriage gets loose and careens down a road, which for some reason just ramps off a cliff.

Rainbow stops it just in time and another big crowd has gathered, including the two 'special' ponies. Hmm, they showed up after these two incidents. Perhaps they are trying to create chaos so Rainbow is forced to come save the day, letting them get close to her.

Rainbow psychs out the crowd by saying there is something wrong with the baby (the baby wasn't cheering for Rainbow Dash) then brings her to her mother. Ah hah! So without magic, the lower class ponies have to have cameras bolted onto their bodies. Ouch.

Bet you wish your parents were Unicorns, huh?

Twilight and Applejack immediately start talking trash about Rainbow Dash, not letting her get even 5 minutes in the spotlight.

"Far be it from me, but..."

Not only can Rainbow Dash leave rainbows, flaming rainbow-hued flames, and Tron-like trails in her wake, she can make a Zorro-esque mark in the sky with clouds.

"Let's see Fluttershy do that!"

 A bunch of old, disturbing looking ponies decide to have a box social on a balcony. Their marks from what I can tell are a pipe, a tea set, a putter and golf balls, and a ball of yarn. Aren't these supposed to represent the pony's talent, and are acquired at an early age? So that guy was puffing on pipes at like 4 years old?

Rainbow saves the day once again. Another massive crowd forms and starts cheering for Rainbow.

"Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash is here!"

Despite Rainbow now having saved a baby, a little pony, and 4 elderly ponies, Twilight immediately has to start talking out the side of her neck about Rainbow to the rest of her friends.

Rainbow is entertaining a crowd with a recounting of her first feat of heroism, and Applejack, Twilight, and even Pinkie Pie are in agreement that Rainbow Dash is worse than Hitler.

Rainbow is so sure of her ability to continue saving the lives of ponies, that she has hired Spike to write her autobiography so that her time isn't wasted writing it herself.

Twilight and Applejack are, for whatever reason, not pleased that Rainbow is getting attention for saving people's lives.

Rainbow Dash may be dead before nightfall.

Hmm, makes you wonder who is capitlazing on this whole thing, as there are Rainbow Dash winged circlets, Rainbow Dash mane wigs, Rainbow Dash branded satchels, shirts, etc. They actually had this stuff beforehand at the Rainbow Dash club meeting, which really makes you wonder who is making it and why. Are they making money off of it, or do these fans just cobble it together themselves?

As some poor pony plummets to her death in a hot air balloon, Rainbow decides to continue signing autographs.

The Mysterious Mare Do Well arrives and saves the ponies life. If she hadn't, she probably would have died or been seriously injured as it is shown Rainbow's belated attempt to save her would have failed.

Rainbow Dash's nemesis appears!

"I don't know who the hell that is, but I hate them."

The Mayor proclaims that Ponyville has a new hero.

"A mysterious mare that has done well by our fair city today. I dub this new masked hero 'The Mysterious Mare Do Well'"

Rainbow Dash makes a veiled threat against Mare Do Well, and proceeds to trip herself on the wreckage of the hot air balloon.

"Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way!"

Another vehicle goes out of control down a slope, this time it's a cart transporting some ponies. Rainbow Dash tries to save them, after getting berated for attempting to say her catch phrase, and ends up being run over.

Mare Do Well appears and stops the cart. Once again, it was headed towards a ramp over a cliff. The same road, or does Ponyville have a bunch of death trap roads to cull the unwary?

Rainbow can't believe Mare Do Well is stronger than her, and makes another threat.

"I can't believe it. Mare Do Well is stronger than me? Well, a hero is more than just muscle, and she's gonna learn that the hard way."

Cut to a construction site, where all hell quickly breaks loose. Rainbow Dash's catch phrase is interrupted again, this time by a beam that nearly annihilated her as it tore loose.

As Mare Do Well appears and rushes into the mayhem, objects falling all around her, to save ponies, Rainbow cowers in the sky.

Seeing that a pony frozen in fear was about to get crushed, Rainbow flies into action and manages to save his life. The building they were working on completely collapses. He promptly faints or goes into cardiac arrest after having so many near-death experiences in such a short time frame and/or seeing all their work ruined.

Despite Rainbow only saving one pony, she begins to trash talk Mare Do Well. ("Or should I say, Mare Too Slow!") She is quickly put in her place by the ponies that Mare Do Well saved, which only sends Rainbow into raging further about Mare Do Well. Rainbow notes that Mare Do Well is strong, fast, and somehow knows what is going to happen ahead of time, and she needs to step up her game to combat this. Sounds like she'll be creating trouble then coming in to 'rescue' her victims?

While out on patrol, Rainbow somehow notices a dam is leaking and gets concerned. Ponyville flooder anyone? She tries to plug the leak, complains no pony is there to pat her on the back and goes to do it herself, and the whole thing gives way.

Rainbow may not be able to swim, or get out of water if her wings are soaked, as she just starts yelling for help while being swept away. She is rescued by Mare Do Well, much to her disgust.

Aww yeah, Unicorns! Proving the value of magic once more, Mare Do Well uses hers to repair the dam.

"I hate you SO much right now..."

New use for magic: repairing buildings. Also, levitating mass amounts of rock.

A small crowd cheers for Mare Do Well and she runs off, leaving Rainbow to fume. Rainbow whines that she is strong, agile, and has magic, then realizes she has one thing Mare Do Well does not: wings!

"It's not fair!"

She gleefully flies through the air, then gets 'ran over' by Mare Do Well.

"Oh, for the love of pete."

Alright Rainbow, let's see if you can put the pieces together. She's strong, has magic, has wings.. hmm, that sounds like it would be a 'Royalty' breed pony, and your vendetta against Mare Do Well should probably cease, lest you end up in the gulags for going against a princess.

Rainbow's friends decide to praise Mare Do Well right in front of her, leading to more Rainbow rage.

"Stupid Mare Do Well, with your costumes, and your amazing abilities."

As all her friends laugh at her, Spike takes the time to mock her as well, thankful it is not him that is victim to their jeers, this time.

"I'll have you all DEAD! Your families, DEAD! Your homes burned to the ground!"

Rainbow vows to prove to them all that she is better than Mare Do Well. She goes to Death Trap Hill and laments that, "Buses and baby carriages are always careening down this hill! Where's an out of control vehicle when you need one?" Not finding any mayhem, she settles for pushing an elderly pony across a street. For her (unwanted) efforts, she is smacked in the face with the elderly pony's purse.

Undaunted, Rainbow sets off to find someone else in need of minimal help and spies a Unicorn trying to open a jar of peanut butter.

What? Magic can fully fix a dam but not open a jar?!

Rainbow grabs the jar and proceeds to try and rip the lid off with her teeth, to the amusement of no pony. Not even the little kid. The Unicorn mommy takes back the jar and knocks it against the fountain.

"Give up yet?"

To try and get Rainbow to leave them alone, the Unicorn mother lets Rainbow pop open the jar, and mutters 'thanks' as she makes her daughter her lunch. New use for magic: spreading peanut butter.

"Don't look directly at her, but, is she gone yet?

Rainbow continues to pester the unicorns, asking how amazing she was at opening the jar. As the Unicorn mother is about to deliver a soul-crushing insult, Rainbow spies a lawn mower and decides being a hero means doing grounds keeping.

A crowd has gathered once more for Rainbow's latest feat of heroism, except this time there is no cheering, just an echoing 'Lame.' and 'Whatever.'

Aww.. Rainbow tries to boost her wavering self esteem, trying to figure out why they like Mare Do Well more, saying how she still has her sleek body, flowing mane, and spectacular hooves.

Rainbow's morale boost fails, and she states that she 'hates being all alone.' =[

"But... then... why am I all alone? I hate being all alone."

 Even her fan club kids abandoned her for Mare Do Well.

Rainbow sees her fan club's leader and is perked up. Rainbow is invited to a 'thank you parade' for Mare Do Well, and descends into rage until some sinister thought crosses her mind.

Rainbow chases after the kids, deciding to go to the parade afterall.

Once again, who makes all this merchandise?

Apparently that thought Rainbow had mid-raging was to unmask Mare Do Well in the middle of the celebration.

 She tries to bite Mare Do Well's face, but Mare Do Well quickly evades and runs off.

After being completely outclassed by Mare Do Well, Rainbow finally captures her and rips her mask off. Surprise! It's Pinkie Pie!

Another Mare Do Well approaches, revealing herself to be Twilight.

Then another, Applejack.

Somehow, they were able to conspire and use their unique talents to solve the various crises that developed. Pinkie Pie has something called 'Pinkie Sense' that lets her detect danger. Some pony was trying to kill Rainbow Dash but ended up missing thanks to Pinkie.

Even Fluttershy was involved, doing the flying Mare Do Well, and Rarity designed the costumes. Some friends, eh, Rainbow? Aww, Rainbow asks them, "Don't you want me to be a hero?" Twilight says of course they do, and Applejack adds, 'But a real hero doesn't brag!" Rainbow admits that maybe she was bragging a little.

Run, Rainbow!

Her friends reveal that they went through all this just because they didn't like how Rainbow was bragging about her feats.

Rainbow decides to agree with them that a hero shouldn't be boastful about their deeds and needs grace and humility, and Twilight wants her to write to Princess Celestia. Spike says he's already wrote a letter for Rainbow, acting as her ghost writer. Since Rainbow is now back in their favor, the Mane 6 resume their mocking of Spike, terrorizing him, and Pinkie, about there being a ghost. They laugh as Spike and Pinkie run away in fear.

Twilight helpfully magics up the quill and parchment for Rainbow to write with, and the episode ends with her winking at the 'camera.'

I guess we now know how non-Unicorns write. That quill must be very rigid or that will be some sloppy writing.

What I learned from this episode:

• Ponyville is a dangerous place, filled with runaway vehicles and roads that lead only to death.
• Rainbow Dash can't catch a break, when she tries to be helpful, her friends conspire to make her feel lower than dirt.
• If this was supposed to be Rainbow's/Mare Do Wells first appearances as 'heroes', who was saving the citizens from the untimely deaths beforehand?
• Following the above, will they continue to save people, yet do so with 'grace and humility' or just stop giving a damn and focusing on something else, letting the poor ponies deal with whatever calamity they happen to get involved in, even if it results in death.