A Canterlot Wedding - Part 1

Dear Princess Luna... From what little I know beforehand about the Ponyverse, I believe you are the guardian of night and most of my writings are likely to take place at these hours, so I reckon it is you I shall 'write' to, in a parody of the protagonist Twilight Sparkle. I suppose I should have gone with 'Night Templar' in that regard. =]

Anyway, so I am now watching my very first, full episode(s) of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The episodes are, as stated in my first post, 'A Canterlot Wedding: Part 1 and 2' of course.

It appears that these are actually the season finale episodes of Season 2, so I'm not sure if this is the best place to start off, but oh well.

For the record, after over a year of being exposed to the show via fans of the series through their topics, avatars, user names, signatures, etc. I do know a little about it. There's a 'mane 6' comprised of Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie.
There's also 'pegasus' ponies that can fly, 'unicorns' that wield magic, and 'earth' ponies that have super strength and endurance or something to that effect. There also appears to be a nobility breed, that has features of all the 3 'commoner' breeds. As evidenced in the two princesses Celestia and Luna, which are the sovereign rulers during day and night, respectively (although I don't know if that is accurate), as well as the good and evil Princess Cadences in the This Day Aria song.

Update: I have recently re-watched this episode, and it now features enhanced commentary and images. A LOT of images. I tried to leave my original, snarky commentary intact, and also tried to make sure the new comments kept in-line with the whole 'I know nothing of this universe' that the original did. Except it's far harder to be mean towards Twilight now. =]

On with the show!

Okay, so we're starting out with an idyllic picnic setting, interrupted by a dragon whelp that belches out a scroll.

So far, the Unicorns seem to have the advantage in this universe, being able to use their magic to manipulate objects without having to use the same hooves they use to walk with like the other types. Not to mention they can use, well, magic period. That seems like a huge advantage.

In addition, their magic can also mend items, as evidenced by Twilight repairing the cake and teapot trampled upon by the overjoyed Pinkie Pie, score another point for Unicorns.

So, there's some huge wedding in Canterlot, which doesn't appear to be where the Mane 6 are at currently, as they know nothing about it.

Apparently they have a good reputation at what they do however as Princess Celestia is personally enlisting them to help, via dragon whelp Scroll Belching nonetheless, despite them being outlanders that don't even know there is a wedding being planned.

I'm not entirely sure from where the dragon whelp produced the second scroll (or want to know) nor why the introductory scroll was stored on his body and the second scroll was Scroll Belched, but it turns out the wedding is for Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Twilight's brother, Shining Armor. Twilight is upset he didn't come down and tell her in person.

Twilight is definitely not pleased at this revelation that it is her brother's wedding and that he didn't bother to come see her about it. It sounds like she must have been a terrible person, or should I say pony, and was sent down from the wonderful world of Canterlot in order to see the 'real world' and learn what friends are.

Twilight begins mocking her brother, using her magic to make a sandwich puppet. Her friends look on in terror.

"Twilight, you should come kick me in the face, because I'm a stupid moron who doesn't care about you."

Twilight then mocks her brother's bride-to-be, the fact that her brother is marrying royalty is of no concern to her, instead she just mocks her 'fancy' name, Mi Amore Cadenza.

"Rage. Hate. This is your death! I will end your petty little lives!"

After confusing her friends with the phrase BBBFF, she explains her pre-exile-from-Canterlot life in song form. Her brother was also apparently the only 'pony she accepted as a friend' before her being outcast.

When I was just a filly, I found it rather silly

To see how many other ponies I could meet

I had my books to read, didn't know that I would ever need

Other ponies to make my life complete

She didn't care about friends at all, with the only one close to her being Shining Armor.

But there was one colt that I cared for

I knew he would be there for me

Aww, so cute!

My big brother, best friend forever!

Like two peas in a pod, we did everything together

Chalk up another point for Unicorns, as they are shown to not only be able to read books on the go, but also split apples perfectly in half.

He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!)

We never had a single fight (We did everything together!)

 And there we have confirmation that Canterlot is some great orbed citadel in the skies.

We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams

I miss him more than I realized

It seems...

Your big brother, best friend forever

Like two peas in a pod, you did everything together

And though he's, oh, so far away

I hoped that he would stay

My big brother best friend

Forever...

Forever...

One wonders what horrible behavior young Twilight must have exhibited to warrant her being exiled to find what friendship means, as we see in the song she is escorted off by the Canterlot legionaries.
On a personal note, I'm afraid to say I am envious of a fictional pony and her relationship with her brother, but who wouldn't be? I can't say wishing I was Twilight Sparkle was ever something that I could have dreamt I would one day say, but alas, such is life.
Update: I'm re-watching this episode, and, man, that song is sad as hell. =[

Applejack confuses them all by using the phrase 'PFF' or Pony Friends Forever. Twilight's displeasure is perhaps in part due to her brother Shining Armor having fulfilled his childhood dreams and became a Captain of the Royal Guard, while Twilight was sent to live with the commoners. Everyone but Twilight is super excited they were hand-picked by Celestia herself to participate in this wedding.

"Yeah... this is why I've never told you guys about him before..."

Apparently ponies have mastered the technology behind steam engines and trains, a frightening prospect. The dragon whelp has accompanied them and amuses them with his ignorance. Why anyone would entrust a bachelor party to this creature is beyond me, especially since he doesn't even know what one is.

They've already got trains, next will be tanks, then tomorrow, the world!

Twilight is still raging about the whole thing. One must wonder how often she has even seen her brother, considering she was cast out from Canterlot whilst he has enjoyed a position of apparent prestige.

"I had to move away, and now I don't see him as much, I don't get it... Why doesn't he come see me?"

There seems to be a discrepancy in the technology used by ponies, as they have steam engines yet their elite legionaries are armed with spears. They've arrived in Canterlot, only to find a large presence of guards. Rarity says it's probably because Royal Weddings bring out the strangest of ponies, and Pinkie Pie sneezes up confetti.

There does appear to be many Unicorns in their ranks, so presumably they could conjure up all manner of hell if need be, and the polearms are shown for the tourists, like the Vatican guards' halberds.

Twilight sets off to congratulate her brother and give him a piece of her mind, even the stalwart guardsman are a little shocked to see her go raging past. We see Shining Armor doing his job, directing his troops.

 If you're a PVT your duty is to salute the LIEUT, but if you brush the LIEUT, then the MP makes you KP on the QT.

Twilight hollers across a field, alarming the guardsmen.

"Wait, I know her! That doesn't mean lower your weapons though, she looks pissed."

You might want to keep your helmet on, SA. She looks pretty mad.

Twilight immediately goes off him him, raging that he didn't personally go down to tell her about his wedding.

Despite Shining Armor explaining they have had a terrorist threat, which has nothing to do with the wedding, and that in the heightened security he has gained a new level of responsibility, Twilight still manages to complain that she must mean nothing, since he didn't personally come see her down in Outcast Land (Hmm, I wonder what could be the reason she got sent there...)

Shining Armor shows Twilight, and us, another use for magic: super powering the forceshield bubble around Canterlot.

Twilight begrudgingly admits that maybe he had a good reason for not going to see her, since he's in charge of protecting the entire city with his magic.

Twilight whines again, asking if she's just not that important to him anymore. Really, Twilight? He just explained how he's the unicorn in charge of protecting Canterlot. while there is a terrorist threat against the city to boot. Shining Armor says of course she is important to him, but will understand if she's so pissed off that she won't accept his invitation to be his Best Mare.

Twilight is surprised, and accepts, saying how honored she is. Then, she immediately starts whining about the princess he is marrying. Come on, Twilight. It's not like he's marrying Pinkie Pie, it's some PRINCESS.

Shining Armor, who has been, for the most part, pretty calm despite Twilight raging all over him, gently explains that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadence, Twilight's foalsitter.

Twilight is ecstatic. We are given another flashback to pre-exile Twilight's life, and shown the good times she used to enjoy with the princess she has been talking out the side of her neck about to her friends and brother.

 Twilight says Cadence is beautiful, caring, and kind.

The 'filly' Twilight commented how lucky she was to have Cadence as her foalsitter, Cadence said it was her that was the lucky one. 'Filly' Twilight was confused, because Cadence is a princess, whilst she is just a regular old unicorn. Cadence explained that Twilight was anything but a regular old unicorn. So obviously the 'royalty' breed like Cadence is the best you can be, but Unicorn is pretty damn good, Twilight, kwicherbichen.

Aww...

 We see a little game they liked to play.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"

Hmm, Princess Cadence is shown to be able to manipulate people's hearts with some dark magic, and yet Twilight is gleeful that she is marrying her brother? No suspicion that she used her powers to go after Shining Armor? How well-to-do is Twilight's family that they have a damn princess as their foalsitter, too?

Twilight looks horrified as Cadence evilly smirks.

Twilight still looks upset as Cadence's dark love magic sends a floating heart towards the arguing couple.

The adult Cadence arrives as Twilight is jumping around, shouting, "You're marrying Cadence!"

"Guards! Execute this knave!"

Further providing evidence for her outcast being just, Twilight proceeds to greet royalty by shaking her rear in the princess' face.

"We are not amused."

The princess is not amused and ignores Twilight, going over to her future husband's side. Shining Armor says he needs to get back to his post and tells Twilight Cadence will be checking in on their wedding preperations. He also says the are both very excited that Twilight is there. Cadence says, 'Absolutely' with an evil look...

"Well, I'm sure Cadence is as happy as I am that you've calmed the hell down and aren't raging at us, Twilight."

"Absolutely."

 ...and Twilight resumes being most displeased with the princess.

"This is a bunch of hooey."

At the castle's kitchens, Applejack and some other ponies are getting all the food set up. Applejack has the cake ready, an ice sculpture of a heart, and the 'Best darn bitesize apple fritter you ever tasted,' which she shoves in Twilight's mouth, momentarily removing her scowl.

 The dragon whelp continues to prove he is just the worst kind of person.

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza arrives, all bow before her except Twilight, who looks angry that the Princess wishes to be addressed by her full name and title.

"How dare she!"

 The Princess appears appalled at the commoner's lack of manners and respect.

 Twilight glowers at the Princess from across the room.

"I hate her so much. No. I don't hate her. I abhor her."

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza samples Applejack's apple fritters, using magic. (Which raises the question as to how Applejack was able to pick one up with a hoof. I guess she did just smash it into Twilight's mouth though.)

 

Really, Applejack, a brown paper bag for royalty? Pshaw. Twilight continues staring at the Princess as she walks out, tossing the peasant paper bag into the trash. Chalk up another point for Unicorns, as they are able to manipulate doors with ease.

Twilight is of course angered and proceeds to trash talk the Princess at Rarity's. Another use for magic: sewing.

"Hey Rarity, listen to me! I'm trying to tell you how evil she is!"

Twilight begins mocking the princess again, and the Princess enters, asking if she just heard someone saying her name.

"Saying my name, in a mocking voice, that's a paddlin'."

The Princess is not pleased at Rarity's inflated sense of self-worth (she is after all just a unicorn) but at least Rarity tried to address her properly, and wasn't shaking her rear in her face like Twilight.

Strike two for Rarity, she didn't even consult with the bride before designing the dresses.

 Her bridesmaids dare speak before spoken to and are silenced with a royal glare.

"The devil did you just say!?"

Twilight, of course, can't help but snark behind the Princess' back before leaving. God forbid a bride have your wedding gown the way she wants it.

"They should call her 'Princess Falls Down the Stairs' because I'm going to go accidentally run into her."

It's a wedding, a royal wedding at that, for what appears to be two adults, and Pinkie Pie has set up chicken dances, pin the tail on the pony, a pinata, and board games. (What was she in charge of again, the reception?) Maybe that's how they roll in pony land, but the Princess is obviously not pleased with these juvenile arrangements, which Twilight, of course, finds appalling. (And she appears to be stalking the Princess now)

"Perfect... If we were celebrating a six-year old's birthday party."

Assassin's Creed: Canterlot

Ah, there we go, "Rest my sister, as always I will guard the night" so that confirms that the two major Princesses do indeed share power over the realm at various hours.

Luna <3

Twilight shows up for drinks with her friends and immediately starts trash talking Cadence. Spike, apparently the dragon whelp, continues to prove he is just a terrible person as he has now stolen the wedding cake toppers to enact his foul roleplaying.

"Spike, you have problems..."

According to Twilight, it is 'so demanding' for a bride to choose what her wedding gown should be and what her bridesmaids will wear. Twilight is dumbfounded that Rarity disagrees with her.

Applejack doesn't care that the Princess considered her brown paper bag'd fritters below her and tossed them, as Twilight continues to spin the blame on the Princess.
Fluttershy brought a sickly(?) bird to perform in her chorus, and Twilight once again blames the Princess for being annoyed at the bird's failure at singing. She then leans back, proud of herself that the Princess was 'rude' to the bird/Fluttershy, proving Twilight was right. Fluttershy produces the bird and he sings, really badly, and Twilight moves on to Pinkie Pie.

"See? Rude. That's what I said, you heard me! That's what I said!"

Spike proves yet again he is just the worst as he involves Pinkie Pie in his roleplaying. As if that wasn't bad enough, he chose the bride's figurine instead of the groom's.

Twilight then asks Rainbow Dash if she's with her, Rainbow has been too busy practicing for her sonic rainboom to notice, or care, about Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's behavior.

"Why doesn't anyone hate her as much as I do?!"

 Rarity tries to explain to Twilight that the Princess is probably just acting that way since it's, oh, I don't know, her wedding...

 

...but Twilight flies into a rage. She starts ranting that Cadence doesn't even deserve to know her brother, let alone marry him. Her friends tell her she's just being possessive. Twilight rages, saying they are all just too caught up in their wedding planning to see that there shouldn't even be a wedding.

"Are you all loco?!?"

 Proving once more that her exile was just, she spills her friends' drinks before leaving.

Yes, that will make your friends believe you.

Twilight runs off to her brother's house, probably a good thing there are guards outside...

Shining Armor is happy to see his lil' sis, 'Twily,' and is proud of his wedding ensemble, but Twilight tries to guilt-trip him with tears as she begins to talk trash about Cadence.

Twilight is enraged when Cadence interrupts by 'sneaking up' on them, aka coming down stairs after hearing Shining Armor talking to someone.

Twilight decides to snoop on the Princess and her brother as they retreat to talk in private. The Princess wants to talk to her future husband about his sister, likely well aware of all the trash talking Twilight has been doing all day. She gets distracted and starts complaining about his outfit, saying she told him not to wear that, the sash thingy I'm presuming, which he says was his favorite uncle's, to which she replies, "And?"

 

Shining Armor is stricken with a headache, which he gets from doing his job of charging the forceshield around Canterlot, and the Princess uses her magic to heal him.

Twilight see this and proclaims her the evilest thing since Satan and high tails it out of there, not even telling the guards outside (who presumably would want to know if their Captain was in trouble) and instead runs to find her friends. Shining Armor calls out to her, and Cadence says to just let her go.

"I've seen some things man, and some stuff. I wouldn't recommend it."

Shining Armor looks to have a pretty badass house.

Sometime between their prearranged meeting for drinks and Twilight running to find them again, the Princess has made Twilight's friends her new bridesmaids, to reward them for the hard work they've been doing on her wedding.

Twilight is, of course, enraged and dumbfounded, and instead of being happy for her friends getting a place of prestige in a royal wedding, she skulks off into the night.

Sometime later, the wedding rehearsal is taking place. Twilight's friends are extremely happy to be a part of it.

Aww..

 Spike proves once again he is just a terrible person as he is still playing with the cake figurines. I don't know what kind of punishment they have in Canterlot, besides banishment like Twilight's, but according to the History of Punishment and Torture by Hamlyn, as late as 1833 a nine-year old boy was condemned to death for stealing goods worth twopence. Another child's punishment included 14 days in prison and a flogging for stealing six plums from an orchard.

Surely these wedding cake toppers are far more valuable, and Spike should not be publicly displaying the trophies of his latest heist as he seems prone to do.

Twilight shows up late and raging, as usual, and proceeds to immediately start talking trash about the Princess.

She's so bad, they call her boss, she's a boss, boss Twi-ligh. Don't take nothin' from nobody!

Shining Armor tries to apologize to Cadence, not understanding why his pariah sister is acting like this, and Cadence suggests that they should just ignore her.

"I'm really sorry, Cadence. I had no idea this would happen..."

"Just ignore her."

 Applejack and Fluttershy try to calm Twilight down, but she snaps at them, claiming she is fine, and using magic to pull down Applejack's hat.

Twilight says she has only one thing to say, Cadence is 'evil.' Everyone in the room is shocked.

"She's Satan's handmaiden!"

Twilight also appears to have a Nightcrawler-esque teleporting ability, which she uses to appear behind the Princess.

The Princess is justifiably frightened as the furious witch backs her into a corner.

"Now, Twilight, remember, uh.. sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake?!"

"I have you now!"

"She's the reincarnation of Hitler!"

"Phew... I can explain all of that.."

If looks could kill...

Her friends look on in horror behind her.

"Why are you doing this to me?!"

As the Princess breaks down in tears and runs away, Twilight shows once more that there was no error in her being outcast from Canterlot. Twilight *bamfs* after the Princess, taunting her, and turns around all smug.

So, Twilight's evidence against Cadence is: "She's been horrible to my friends, she's obviously done something to her bridesmaids, and if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all: *her eyes roll around in her head*"

Twilight runs into Shining Armor, who is not pleased.

Twilight's smugness at making a princess cry near her wedding day quickly evaporates as Shining Armor explains what is really going on. (And of course just asking him about it was something Twilight would never do)

Shining Armor's eyes were going all crazy because he gets migraines from having to cast his forceshield spell, and Cadence was, here's a shocker, using her magic to heal him. She replaced her bridesmaids because she found out they were only interested in the wedding so they could meet Canterlot royalty.  Because of Shining Armor's increased responsibilities, the wedding has been left entirely in Cadence's 'hooves' to plan &c which has stressed her out, so that is why she wasn't on her 'best behaviour' with Twilight's friends.

Aww...

Before he leaves to go comfort his bride, Shining Armor tells her she can forget about being his Best Mare, and if he was Twilight, to forget about showing up to the wedding at all. Twilight looks to her friends for support, but they walk out and ignore her. Even Princess Celestia has had enough of Twilight, and slams the doors behind her as she exits.

She's the mare you love to hate, talkin' trash to your mate

All alone, Twilight slumps down onto the stairs, lamenting that instead of gaining a sister, she just lost a brother. =[ In tears, sings a heartbreaking reprise of Big Brother Best Friend Forever.

Aww.... =[

He was my big brother, best friend

Forever...

And now, we'll never do anything

Together...

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza steps forwards as the song ends, trampling the little Twilight.

The Princess gently strokes Twilight's mane. Twilight looks up into her smiling face and says she is sorry.

  Mi Amore Cadenza sneers, saying, "You will be!" and begins casting a spell.

The Princess, having had enough with Twilight's behavior, sends her to some fel-fiery hell dimension so her wedding can take place in peace.

"I have the death sentence on twelve systems!" "I'll be careful." "You'll be dead!"

 

Perfect.

To be continued....

What I learned from this episode:

• There is a very good reason for Twilight to have been outcast from Canterlot and forced to learn about friendship
• Shining Armor seems to have no male friends, except maybe a criminal dragon whelp, that is disturbingly obsessed with roleplaying as Shining Armor and his bride-to-be
• Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is perhaps what every pony wants in a woman: an actual princess, knows what she wants and how to get it, attractive, able to heal you, and has mastery over not only magic but the dark arts as well.
• Unicorns/royalty are looking to be the 'best' types of ponies thanks to their usage of magic which must be of tremendous help in their daily lives.
• Update: This episode was really sad if you care about Twilight at all. On one hand you get to see her being pure Twilight Worth, on the other, she ends up ostracized by everyone, including the only pony she's cared about for the majority of her life. 

Update -  This episode ended up being in my top 10 overall favorites, write-up copied from my Triumphant Return post:

My first episode, and still one of my favorites. Twilight Rage, Evil Cadence, Big Brother Best Friend Forever song(s), lots of magic.

A little more in-depth analysis can be found here.

The song from this episode also made my top 5 song list:

A very sweet song about Twilight's loving relationship with Shining Armor, one of her few 'friends' before she went to Ponyville. I really like this because for one, who wouldn't want to have a relationship like that with their sibling? And two, it, and some other parts of the episode, show us that Twilight at least had some joy in her pre-Ponyville life and wasn't just a miserable loner.