Read it and Weep

Dear Princess Luna...

Alright, seems like another Rainbow Dash focused episode. I have no idea what Rainbow was doing besides flying, but the non-flying* Rarity, Pinkie Pie. and Twilight Sparkle were enthralled. A SNAFU sends Rainbow crashing to the ground.

 *As seen in Baby Cakes, Unicorns can fly with magic, and Pinkie Pie can more than likely use her Bugs Bunny abilities (as seen in this intro as she twists her head around repeatedly) to fly if she really wanted to. (Update: Pinkie Pie apparently owns her own hot air balloon and gyrocopter, and can fly by attaching masses of balloons to herself. Unicorns can use magic to give themselves and others wings and the ability to walk on clouds.)

"Oh, the ponyanity!"

We pick back up with Rainbow in the hospital. I do say, I love some of the art on this series. This picture below is meant to be seen, as Pinkie asks if her face will stay that way, but it's similar to the ones I was thinking about, where for half a second they will be making some hideous expression. Twilight in particular usually has them, like those extreme rage screenshots I usually try to get.

If I had a facade like that I'd walk backwards.

Likely to the surprise of no one, the doctor is a Unicorn. Chalk up another use for magic. I have to wonder if there are non-Unicorn doctors, as you'd think patients would object to someone using their mouth and/or front 'feet' to operate on them.

"What egregious offense did Rainbow Dash commit in your eyes this time, Twilight?"

 So, Rainbow has broke her wing and has to stay in the hospital for a few days. She's been conscious for less than five minutes and is already going crazy, begging her friends to bust her out of there and saying she's going to crawl up the walls. Let me reiterate, the Pegasus, that loves to fly, just broke her wing and wants to just leave the hospital.

Evil Villain Twilight is happy that Rainbow needs to stay in the hospital.

I reckon Rainbow had something really important (and something Twilight didn't approve of) and time sensitive she was trying to do, as she goes all dramatic saying the few days might as well be a few months/years. This would explain the evil grin on Twilight above.

Rainbow's friends try to cheer her up, telling her the 'chow is probably hoof-lickin' good' and that her hospital gown will match the room's curtains.

Thanks, Rarity, that little tidbit of info will surely make the fact Rainbow is missing some extremely important appointment or whatever better.

 They also point out that Rainbow has a roommate.

Aww, that looks like one of the little kid sized ponies, must be a victim of one of those roads of death seen in Mysterious Mare Do Well.

Rainbow is not enthused by her friends' attempts and turns her back on them, trying to take solace in the warmth of her bed covers. Mary Worth, I mean, Twilight, doesn't take the hint and can't resist meddling.

New use for magic: Meddling undetected until it's too late.

Rainbow is not amused and angrily asks what it is.

Rainbow, come on, girl. You just saw Twilight's magic dangling it before you, I think you know it's a book.

Rainbow goes into a rage, throwing it across the room and proudly proclaiming that she doesn't read.

Twilight: "You think one broken wing is bad, Rainbow? That will be the least of your worries once I get done with you!" (Hey, there's that Twilight Rage I mentioned earlier, although I'd say it's justified here)

Apparently being an athlete means you can't read, (only eggheads like Twilight should read books), and it is 'undeniably, unquestionably, uncool.'

Rainbow's anti-bookite hatred is met with laughter from all her friends. To quote Rarity, 'Why, a good book is almost as magnificent as silk pajamas on a Sunday morning!' At this point, based on the title of the episode and the fact Rainbow is making such a big deal out of Twilight offering her something to pass the time on, I think it's safe to say she will end up reading it and liking it.

The nurse (a non-unicorn surprisingly) tells them visiting time is over, as they leave, Twilight shows how much she cares for her friends, as the book she picked stars a pony very much like Rainbow in personality. Adventurous, fierce, and undeniably, unquestionably, unstoppable. She even took the effort to 'magic' it back to Rainbow's bed, as I'm pretty sure Rainbow chucked it and it's sitting on her lap as they leave.

Then again, you're probably not going to live long enough to read that book anyway, Rainbow.

Rainbow tries to pass the time by bouncing a ball against a wall, it ends in sadness. Supper time, ends in sadness. She then tries to amuse herself by turning the light on and off. She tries to tell jokes to that horribly injured young'un, and gets upset when she doesn't laugh.

Rainbow's Ad

Rainbow then decides to just stare at the wall and/or the clock, apparently thinking that doing so would speed up time. Instead of sadness, this brings anger, and she begins bashing her head against the bed. Her head likely aching with pain, she spies that damnable book.

Because, yes, bashing your head against the headboard is a better activity than reading a book Twilight, your friend who knows all about books, picked out just for you.

Rainbow finally gives up and starts reading the book. She immediately starts to grow fond of Daring Do, the heroine of the book, as she too had just crashed and broke her wing, also lamenting that 'a few days' might as well be a few weeks, months, or years.

As Rainbow reads aloud, we join Daring Do on her adventure, where she immediately is battling a tiger, a panther, a lynx, a jaguar/cheetah. and a little kitten.

"I'll whoop you with one leg and one wing behind my back!"

Okay, I've seen like 30 seconds of Daring Do, and already she is looking pretty badass.

"So, you have me surrounded? Good, you bastards won't get away this time!"

She goes charging past the kitten, the weak link in this bizarre Feline Murderin' Party, charges down a hill, and finds a wide canyon.

Daring Do has her own 'Tron-like' trail like Rainbow. <3

 

 Refusing to become cat chow, she leaps across the gap, grabs a vine and swings to safety.

"What are ya, scaredy cats?"

On the other side, she finally finds some lost temple she had been searching for for 60 days and night.

"At last, the Lost Temple of Catmandu!"

The anti-bookite Rainbow hates to admit to herself, and especially her friends, that she is loving the story, and loving reading. Her brief moment of mirth is abruptly ended as she realizes that makes her an 'egghead.' This soul shattering revelation must have been quickly forgotten, as we resume back in the Daring Do world.

"W-wait, I just said I love reading? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Daring is entering the temple, and it seems rife with dangers. Some previous pony explorer didn't even make it past the entryway, as their skeleton lies there. Daring pays them no respects, as she knows a real explorer would have made it at least another 30 feet in.

She pays the dangers no heed, boldly walking forwards, seeking whatever mysteries she desires within this lost temple.

Daring triggers a pressure plate.

Senses or hears the incoming trap.

Breathes in relief after ducking the trap.

"Oh, uh, yikes. Might want to pay a little more attention to where I'm going in this trap laden hellhole."

Ahead, she sees something that troubles her.

 It gets worse.

She stretches across a pit that opens up below her.

Evades the jet of fire that tries to immolate her.

Flips away from the searing heat.

God damned crocodiles descend from the ceiling.

Bypasses the dangling ceiling crocodiles.

Stands resolute as she times the next trap, a swinging blade.

Leaps over the blade.

Narrowly escapes getting shot in the head by an arrow.

Continues to dodge the arrows while climbing through them.

Vaults through the barrage of arrows.

Backflips off the arrows.

Strikes a badass pose.

Narrowly avoids getting impaled.

Cautiously proceeds down the hall o' impalement.

Leaps past a spike.

Lands, and her attention is drawn ahead.

Sees the door is closing at the far side.

Charges forwards with renewed vigor.

She races forwards, dodging spikes.

She nears the exit.

She slides towards the doorway.

Makes it through, making sure to keep a hold of her hat.

She panics, as she sees the door closing down upon her, and quickly escapes.

I believe I used the Patton quote about a Lieutenant in Libya beating the hell out of/killing some Germans with a bullet through his lung on an earlier episode. Well, Daring Do just did all these trap evading acrobatics with a broken wing. Too bad she is possibly just the 'Harry Potter' of the Ponyverse and not a real character, because she is already one of my favorite characters, and the episode's not even halfway through.

 

*sigh*

Her short reprise after making it through that death hallway is ended, as she realizes she is in yet another death hallway. We don't get to see what crazy things she does in that one, but there's a cacophony of noise, ended by Daring Do making it through another 'Slowly Descending Door' trap as she enters another chamber. She didn't fare near as well, as her hat is full of arrows.

Yeesh. Good thing she's rocking a pith helmet and not a fedora like Indy.

Brushing the arrows off her headgear, her stoicism returns and she scans the room. A convenient sunbeam helps highlight that which she desires: some crazy sapphire double Anubis statue or something to that effect.

Who knows? In a thousand years, even you may be worth something.

Daring, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Daring. Don't look at it, no matter what happens!

Too late...

Aww. <3

Our Daring Do adventure will have to wait, as Fluttershy and Twilight interrupt. Rainbow, wracked with shame, hides the book under her covers. They've brought Rainbow's favorite board game, some Ponyfied Battleship game.

"Oh, was I supposed to take a turn too? Oh well, too late now, you guys already won."

Rainbow lets them win, then quickly tries to get them out of there. Instead of just saying 'Hey Twilight, I ran out of things to do and am reading that book, it's awesome! Want to talk about how cool Daring Do is?' Rainbow decides it's best to come across as a jerk to her friends that took time out of whatever it is they are doing to try and make Rainbow feel better.

"But Rainbow, you never lose!" Update: as we saw from Fall Weather Friends, Rainbow probably 'never loses' because she cheats =]

Back to Daring Do! She is excited as she sees the object of her 60 days and nights search is almost within her grasp.

 She starts to step forwards, but notices the floor is some crazy trap and stops.

There's some crazy floor trap like in The Last Crusade.

 Daring Do pauses and investigates the room.

 

She notices an obvious trap up on the wall, is annoyed, but doesn't let that deter her.

Obvious arrow/spear/dart holes on a wall.

 

Daring certainly doesn't trust it, and tosses a stone out onto the floor trap. The tile it lands on descends and a furious storm of arrows is launched.

I think they actually formed a pony shape on the wall? Yeah.. whoever designed this place REALLY doesn't like ponies.

She quickly deciphers the floor trap, deducing that all the animals depicted on the tiles are predators except the rats.

 Daring then decides to put that theory to the test.

Well, at least she didn't have to figure out 'Jehova' but using an 'I' instead of a 'J' =] Daring gazes in wonder as the object of her long quest is finally within her grasp.

Aww.

Learning to trust nothing in this foul place, she investigates the statue's pillar, wipes the sweat off her brow, rubs her hooves in anticipation, then just grabs it with her mouth. As she triumphantly stores it in her helmet, the obvious pressure plate trap she somehow missed is triggering behind her.

I can't really say anything bad about her, despite this obvious slip up, she's Daring Do, doggone it.

The whole joint starts collapsing. The floor gives way and underneath is lava, she's quickly stuck on top of the statue's pillar as the lava rises. Her victory would have been short lived had it not been for luck, as thankfully for her, the collapsing pillars formed a 'bridge' towards that hole the 'sapphire statue highlighting sunbeam' used earlier.

"Really, another trap?"

Who in blazes designed this trap, anyway? IF I CAN'T HAVE IT, I MEAN, IF I CAN'T LEAVE IT IN SOME GODFORSAKEN TEMPLE, NO ONE CAN HAVE IT! I WILL BURN YOU ALL!

 The pillar breaks apart as she climbs, and she is quickly surrounded by lava again.

 Daring makes another leap of faith and makes it out of there alive.

She grabs onto the rock and holds herself up with her mouth, impressive.

Just like I mentioned on the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 episode: as Daring Do is blasted out of that hole by a geyser of steam(?) we are given a prominent view of her nether region.

Yup.

  She slams into the earth and the statue flies free of her helmet.

Aww... =[

Some crazy cat thing appears, and we are once again interrupted by Rainbow's friends coming to visit.

Whatever this thing really is, it is no where near as horrifying as the version we saw, where it speaks with Pinkie's voice.

Rainbow hides her book once again, and a nurse brings in food. Thinking her friends would leave her alone, they instead all stare at her.

"Hey Rarity?" "What?" "Chicken butt." "Why -" "Chicken thigh." "Ugh."

Rainbow decides to scare them off by eating as disgustingly as possible. This is actually the same way to eat that Pinkie Pie seemed to show the Cake twins in Baby Cakes from what I recall, so I'm not sure why she's grossed out by it.

Back to Daring Do! The weird cat thing is talking trash. Daring, understandably looking fatigued, tries to reach for the sapphire statue. Aww. =[

Aww, she worked so hard to get that statue. :(

The weird cat thing blows on a 'cat whistle' and calls forth that Feline Murderin' Party we saw earlier. Except now the tiger has a flail. Seriously, its carrying a spiked ball and chain in its mouth. The others look to have rope and a club. Daring is captured and brought back into another death chamber. She says the cat things name, not sure what it is, Ahi Zolo? I'm just going to call it 'the cat thing' until I hear it with clarity.

So the cat thing pulls a lever and waves goodbye to Daring as some new trap is sprung. Daring groans, and cries out, 'Not again!' Yes, she is that awesome that death traps are just annoyances to her.

 

Daring's strapped to an altar as spike walls close in.

*sigh* "Of the days annoyances..."

=[

As if that wasn't enough to completely kill someone, spiders start pouring out from the spikes' holes, and cobras rain down from above. Again, as if there weren't already several ways to kill someone in this room, quicksand starts pouring in.

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes."

"Quicksand?!"

Alas, once again, Daring Do's story is interrupted. We see that Rainbow was up all night reading under the covers with a lamp lit up with fireflies. The doctor and nurses kick Rainbow out of the hospital as she looks desperately back at the book. Left outside in a wheelchair, Rainbow cries, "How will I ever find out what happens to Daring Do?" Well, I'm no expert, Rainbow, but I think you could find another copy of the book somewhere. Not that you would go there, but Twilight did say she owns them all.

Haha, as I unpaused it, it seems Rainbow did indeed remember Twilight owns it, but doesn't want to 'man up' and go borrow it from her. Instead, she decides to fake pains to get back into the hospital.

Does Rainbow even have a 'job'? She just seems to fly around, play with her friends, etc. As mentioned in the other episodes I've seen, Pegasi are in charge of the weather, but I doubt she personally has that much responsibility. (Update: After watching the entire series, it appears Rainbow's job is just to do weather manipulation for Ponyville, which is completely manufactured, so she doesn't have to work that often, usually. She is also team leader for the Weather Team for Winter Wrap Up, and likely other season changing events)

The doctor throws her out of the hospital again, proclaiming that she has 'lazyitis.'

"Dammit, Rainbow! We're a hospital, not a daycare!"

Once more, Rainbow throws all rationality to the wind and decides to break into the hospital at night to get that specific book. Forget about going to a store or a non-Twilight library, let's just steal it. AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.

Like the sunlight did for Daring, so too did the moonlight do for Rainbow, shining through a skylight upon her hospital room. Although her bed was occupied by another patient, she found the book, left under the bed for some reason.

We briefly return to Daring Do, as she struggles against her bindings. She says it feels like the harder she struggles, the tighter the ropes get, and we are interrupted by the 'real world' again.

Instead of exfiltrating with her prize, Rainbow decided to read it there and is caught. Considering she always seems to read it out loud... yeah. Nurses and her doctor charge into action, she flees and they give chase, carrying flashlights in their mouths. Rainbow tries to fly, her wing gives out, and she crashes into the book cart, losing her prize. She flees out into the night with her pursuers behind her. Pinkie is awakened and angry she wasn't invited to this 'game.'

Rain-bow, Rain-bow, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when the Ponyville medicos find you.

Her botched burglary further mimics Daring Do, Rainbow is chased to a ravine, and swings across on a vine.

Hmm, I wonder how much continuity there is, if they show this area again in another episode, will there be vines on the tree?

Right near Rainbow's vine, it is revealed there was a footbridge, and so the chase continues. They pass Rarity's house and wake her up, then towards Twilight's where she is finally cornered. The doctor bemusedly asks why Rainbow is stealing slippers. All this time, there had been a 'dog' barking, which I guess they do have them, as seen in that terrible find a pet episode. However, it is revealed it was a mental patient doing the barking.

Update: Call of the Cutie shows that magic may not be able to reveal a cutie mark. Seen here is evidence why it wouldn't be a good idea if it could.

Somehow, all of Rainbow's friends are there. Even Applejack who lives on the farm on the outskirts of town, I think, and Fluttershy, who also seems to live far from the main area.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance. Dammit, I have all these reports to write to Princess Celestia, and you're waking me up in the middle of the gol darned night because you're stealing slippers?"

Aww, Rainbow's friends tell her there's no need to make a fracas just because she likes to read. Perhaps she should have just asked Twilight to borrow the book instead of sneaking into a hospital to steal a copy and drawing the ire of all her friends and neighbors.

Fluttershy seems to really delight in her friend confessing she is an 'egghead.'

Ah, hell. Forget what I just said. Rainbow, you gotta do what you gotta do to get some Daring Do. If that means burglary and other such shenanigans, so be it.

"It's O.K. Rainbow, everypony reads. You don't need to get a sneaking suit and break into places just because you like books."

In Twilight's library, she shows her Daring Do collection, looks to be about 16 books in that series. I was about to mention how Twilight seemed to have selected the third book in the series for Rainbow, assuming the ones in her library are in order, but then I remembered I started watching this show with the final episodes of the second season...c'est la guerre.I think Twilight claimed it was actually the first book earlier when she gave it to Rainbow, though.

The other two might be prequels, like how Temple of Doom came out after Raiders, but takes place years before. Knowing Twilight, she probably has them organized chronologically.

Rainbow had some stupid notion that books were only for smart ponies. I'm pretty sure Pinkie tried to say she reads books earlier, before she had a Pinkie Pie moment and went off on a tangent. I wouldn't necessarily call Pinkie dumb.. but she's no Twilight. They also get Spike to write to Princess Celestia about how Rainbow learned that books aren't evil and to give things a chance. I'm sure the Princess will be a little confused by that one.

Back to Daring Do!

As the sand, walls, spiders, and snakes close in on her, Daring makes her Hail Mary play. She calculates a trajectory, stretches her helmet, then lets it fly, ricocheting off the walls and perfectly bouncing into the trap's lever, just as she was about to die a horrible death 'drowning' in sand.

"Yes! I am invincible!"

The walls retreat, the sand starts to deplete, the snakes and spiders seemed to have bailed already. Daring Do breaks free and triumphantly walks towards the exit.

"Another day, another dungeon." <3

The weird cat thing is gloating about Daring's so-called demise, and plans to enact some horrible vengeance against the world, since she was the only one that could stop him.

"With Daring Do out of the way, the world will suffer mightily at my hands. I am victorious!"

Daring swoops in and reclaims her sapphire statue. Well, there was no way I could have figured out that that (Ahuizotl) was the cat things name, I just looked it up after it was said again. (And, awesome! Daring Do apparently has a brief appearance in another episode according to that site, pretty sure I haven't seen it yet)

"I'll take that"

"Huh? Wha-? Noooooooo!"

"Better luck next time, Ahuitzotl!"

<3

"Curse you, Daring Do!"

Daring Do's story ends with the below awesome looking scene.

"And so, with Ahuitzotl defeated, and the sapphire statue secured, the world was safe and sound once again...

...thanks to Daring Do!"

Rainbow seems to have borrowed the Daring Do collection and immediately begins reading another Daring Do book.

"Daring Do and the Griffon's Goblet... Awesome!"

 What I learned from this episode:

• I really like the Daring Do character and story. I ended up with 51 screenshots from this episode, usually I've been having maybe around 20 per episode. (Update: it now has over 200, whew!)  I love the Indiana Jones movies so that's definitely part of it. I like the 'crazy archaeology' component to both as well. Remember on Fox how they used to interrupt whatever was showing for a Live broadcast of some Egyptian tombs being discovered? As annoying as it may have been to miss out on whatever was airing, I loved watching those, doubt they do those anymore, at least I haven't seen one in probably a decade or so.
• This episode might beat out the Canterlot wedding ones as my favorite so far. (Hmm, I ended up rating Canterlot Wedding part 2 as my overall favorite, might have to change it up, as I really like this episode.)
• Who knows how much joy Rainbow has been depriving herself by being anti-book for so long. Surprised her anti-book stance took so long to come out, considering one of her best friends is Twilight, who runs the library.
• And, let us remember, she did all this with a broken wing. Daring Do is awesome.

Update -  This episode ended up being in my top 10 overall favorites, write-up copied from my Triumphant Return post:

Rainbow Dash and Daring Do with a little dash of Twilight, awesome. Daring Do is the real star of this episode, as we see her battle the evil feline minions of Ahuizotl, conquer the traps of the ancient temple, retrieve the Sapphire Statue, escape from a death chamber, and steal back the statue. All while radiating moxie and badassitude. Also, Rainbow Dash learns she loves Daring Do.