Hearts and Hooves Day

Dear Princess Luna...

Okay, so I thought I only had those couple episodes left. Last night, I ended up hanging out with some friends all night, so didn't get a chance to watch one. For reasons unknown, I couldn't help but feel like I had missed something when I thought about it. Lo and behold, it turns out I managed to neglect this episode, even though I pulled a Twilight and had double and triple checked the episode list the other night.

Looks to be another Cutie Mark Crusaders episode. Hmm, using the loose definition of a 'Crusader' episode as being focused on any one of them (why wasn't there a Scootaloo based one, by the way?) it would seem there was Sisterhooves Social, The Cutie Pox, Family Appreciation Day, Hearts and Hooves Day, Ponyville Confidential.

In comparison:
Twilight (Lesson Zero, Luna Eclipsed?, Return of Harmony Pt. 1 and 2?, It's About Time, A Canterlot Wedding Pt. 1 and 2?)
Rainbow Dash (May the Best Pet Win (ugh), The Mysterious Mare Do Well, Read It and Weep (yay), Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 (sort of), Hurricane Fluttershy (sort of))
Fluttershy (Putting Your Hoof Down, Hurricane Fluttershy)
Rarity (Sisterhooves Social, Sweet and Elite)
Applejack (The Last Roundup, Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000)
Pinkie Pie (Baby Cakes, A Friend in Deed, MMMystery on the Friendship Express)
Spike (Secret of My Excess, Dragon Quest)
Group/Other (Return of Harmony Pt. 1 and 2?, Hearth's Warming Eve, A Canterlot Wedding Pt. 1 and 2?)

Oh well, the Crusaders episodes have been decent, so I'm not complaining, but still.

We start off in the Crusader's tree house, although it looks less elaborate than when we saw it in Family Appreciation Day, I think, which doesn't make sense since this is after it. Maybe this is Scootaloo's clubhouse and not Applebloom's.

They are constructing a 'Hearts and Hooves Day' thing for their teacher, Cherilee. They make a monstrous heart then try to put it into a tiny envelope. I know, I know, "It's a joke, son, it's a joke!" but still, you'd think the Crusaders would be a little more intelligent. Although I suppose they do usually fail miserably at whatever they try to do to get their marks.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

They drag it to school, where it collapses on them after they present it to Cherilee.

"Hmm, how many cupcakes could I trade this thing for?"

Cherilee thanks them, Sweetie Belle does a little 'wink wink, nudge nudge' about it being nothing compared to what Cherilee's 'very special somepony' must have given her.

Once again, the Ponyverse's future super villain instills terror into those around her.

Cherilee says she doesn't have a 'very special somepony' and the Crusaders are astonished.

"Do what?!"

The Crusaders can't believe that Cherilee doesn't have some 'special somepony' for Hearts and Hooves day.

*sigh* "Have you been talking to my mother? That's all I ever hear from her.."

Sweetie Belle decides that they should play match-maker and find a stallion for Cherilee. They then proceed to wander around Ponyville, searching for the perfect stallion for Cherilee.

The very first male they rule out looks as young as them, so it's less 'finding the perfect stallion' and more 'finding any single male without some obvious flaw.'

"No, this won't work, I think he's in my class."

Wow, as I went back to grab that screenshot, I paid more attention to the next scene, where Sweetie Belle rules out that pipe marked pony.

Is that a funeral? Kind of looks like a coffin there. We have seen that there is definitely a dark side to the Ponyverse, but it's pretty sad to have death overtly confirmed.

They continue, dismissing a pony for being sick, another for being a clown, one for being too Canterlot-y, one for having a girlfriend, and one for having being too 'flashy' with his disco outfit.

The next one is ruled out for splashing a mud puddle onto Sweetie Belle and Applebloom. Really, completely passing over the guy for splashing you? Okay, if it was intentional, then yes, good call. An adult purposefully splashing 'fillies' isn't cool. The guy was just galloping past, though, so probably was an accident. His mark was also an hourglass, so he obviously is obsessed with time in some form.

"Oh, well he didn't splash me, so I thought he was still a good choice, sorry!"

The next ones are dismissed for being too short, too tall, too clean, and too smelly. All of those, sure, but too clean? Unless the guy is just constantly cleaning himself (and did they break into his house, since he was in a bathtub?) The next one is extremely disturbing, 'strangely obsessed with tubs of jelly'

"Welcome to my NIGHTMARE!"

Once again, unless this sick freak is out in public, Sweetie Belle broke into his house, where he then slowly rises out of the jelly jar. staring at her. She, wisely, runs the hell out of there.

They give up, thinking all the 'good ones' are taken, and climb up a stack of hay bales. On the other side is Big Macintosh, Applebloom's brother. Scootalo asks if he's doing anything for Hearts and Hooves Day, and he responds, 'nope'.

"I love it when a plan comes together!"

The finally found 'the one' and Applebloom gets confused, 'Wait, are you talkin' 'bout my brother?' Gee, I don't know Applebloom, you were right next to them when they asked him, then started singing how they had found the perfect stallion for Cherilee..

They then work on how they will get Cherilee and Big Mac together. Sweetie Belle decides to force them together with a romantic picnic. They get it all set up, and Cherilee and Big Mac are on the way. Cherilee arrives and they apparently lured her there by asking for help identifying a tree. They didn't really think this through, as they point to an apple tree.

"That's an apple tree... I guess you girls may need to be held back a grade."

Big Mac arrives, having been brought out there to fix up the gazebo, which was either never broken or the Crusaders actually fixed it. They push the two towards each other, invite them to eat the 'romantic picnic' then hide in a bush, after turning on some romantic music.

Cherilee looks like she kind of likes Big Mac, awkwardly smiling and making conversation.

"So, um, you want to be my.. uh, nice weather?"

The Crusaders get excited as Cherilee seems to be moving in for a kiss, but instead Big Mac had straw or something stuck in his teeth and she was just pointing it out. Sweetie Belle jumps out of the bush, yelling 'Come on!' The music goes all warped and Cherilee and Big Mac go back to whatever they were doing before the mini-Twilight Worths interrupted them.

The Crusaders, dejected after failing yet again, run into the actual Twilight Worth while walking through Ponyville. Twilight was reading while walking and smashes into them.

'Of the days annoyances! Who dares disturb my reading!"

Twilight apologizes, saying she was reading a book about Hearts and Hooves Day, and asks if they knew it started because of a love potion. The Crusaders end up borrowing that book, because if two adults they forced together won't ask each other out, completely forcing them to be together through magic is the obvious solution. New use for magic, though, I suppose.

Twilight, excited that they want to read, tries to give them another book, but they are already gone.

"Damn fillies, with their Victrottas, and their beach balls..."

What a shocker, the Crusaders are making the love potion. They need a tuft of cloud, a bright rainbow's glow, then stir it fast with a pegasus feather. It looked like there was already something in the vial before they put in the cloud, though. Also, presumably whoever made the original potion was a pegasus, since while someone else, especially a Unicorn, could get the ingredients, they seem 'naturally' easy for a pegasus to acquire.

Kind of disturbing, some rogue pony with a vacuum could apparently suck the color out of all the rainbows if they so desired.

Applebloom has second thoughts about doing this to her brother, but the other Crusaders change her mind, by saying how they all think Cherilee and Big Mac are perfect for each other and will be happy if forced together. Once more, they lured Cherilee and Big Mac to the park(?) and spin some story about how they want to sell punch and need them to test it, together, because they'll be perfect, together, to test it, together.

"So, instead of bringing us the punch, you brought two cups of it out into this park? I guess I'll drink it, surely can't be a trick."

Cherilee is not as dumb as you might think from previous episodes, as she has figured out that the Crusaders are trying to get them together. Despite the fact she has to have seen how insane the Crusaders can get when they put their minds to something, they drink the punch anyway, and immediately fall under its spell.

Cherilee finally asks Big Mac to be her very special somepony, he of course says 'yup.' The Crusaders celebrate, then get weirded out as Cherilee and Big Mac start calling each other cutesy names like "shmoopy-doopy sweedy-weedy pony pie."

I like how they all seem to be staring accusingly at Sweetie Belle for some reason. I guess she is the Unicorn Crusader, so magic is her domain, which would make any mishaps her fault.

The Crusaders realize they probably done goofed.

"Huh, so drugging people isn't the best way to get them to ask each other out."

Back at their clubhouse, the Crusaders are upset at the outcome of their plan. Failed, yet again. Sweetie Belle reads further into the book, and sees they may have made a love poison, not potion. Some prince tried to force a princess to love him, instead the 'potion' made them just stare into each others eyes, and their kingdoms went to chaos as neither royal was able to rule.

Of course the non-unicorn would have to use unstable zebra-style magic to get with a unicorn princess. Scratch that, it's actually a 'royalty' breed, so even worse.

Applebloom pictures a world without Cherilee or Big Mac able to do their duties, uneducated, starving ponies run amok in Ponyville.

Aww.. =[

Sweetie Belle continues reading and finds there is a cure, they need to keep them from looking into each others' eyes for one hour.

At the Cake's, Big Mac and Cherilee have apparently been sitting for hours, trying to get the other to take the first sip. Why didn't Mrs. Cake just give them another straw? Mrs. Cake mentions that they will probably get married soon, which grosses out Applebloom especially, but gives Sweetie Belle an idea. They will use the idea of a wedding to try and get the two separated for an hour.

Magnets, how do they work?

Sweetie Belle will distract Cherilee, while Applebloom and Scootaloo distract Big Mac. At Rarity's apparently, Cherilee is going through dresses. For reasons unknown, Rarity isn't even there it looks like. Sweetie Belle tries to blockade her into the dressing room.

Oh! In the Canterlot wedding episode, I commented about wedding rings for non-unicorns, since in the wedding Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor are unicorns, and had rings that went on their horns. I guess we see here 'normal' wedding rings, as Applebloom and Big Mac are in a jewelry store.

Looks like it would indeed be an 'anklet' or bracelet. I'm kind of curious if any have ever been shown being worn, especially with all the high society ponies we've seen in episodes like A Canterlot Wedding or Sweet and Elite.

Applebloom rejects all the rings the jeweler offers, then turns to ask Scootaloo how long it has been. It has only been 25 minutes. In the 20 or so seconds it took to ask that, Big Mac buys a ring and runs off to find Cherilee.

They find Big Mac bouncing down the street like Pinkie Pie does, and Applebloom tries to slow him down while dispatching Scootaloo to go warn Sweetie Belle. Rarity's shop is apparently named Carousel Boutique.

Applebloom fails to stop him using her own strength, grabs a rope and ties him to a cart being pulled by two ox(?) full of anvils, that also fails. Scootaloo arrives and warns Sweetie Belle, they are apparently going to dig some sort of trap, or just bludgeon Cherilee/Big Mac unconscious with shovels.

Эй, эй, тяни канат сильней!

Песню солнышку поём.

Эй, ухнем!

Эй, ухнем!

Ещё разик, ещё да раз!

Applebloom ties the rope around a house, Big Mac just pulls it down the street.

Seriously, and they had that poor scrawny unicorn as the Canterlot castle bellhop, when Earth Ponies can drag houses with ease?

Only a few minutes left, but Big Mac is almost to the boutique. Applebloom grabs onto his neck, trying in vain to stop him, the other Crusaders warn her off. The rope breaks, Applebloom leaps off, and Big Mac goes flying down a hole.

They managed to find and put a mattress down there, but that still looks like it wouldn't feel that great.

Scootaloo says she is sure glad they found those shovels, which makes me realize something, have we ever seen Sweetie Belle use magic? Obviously she wouldn't be as good as Twilight, but in Mysterious Mare Do Well, Twilight used magic to repair that dam, levitating a ton of rocks, so if Sweetie Belle can actually use magic, she could have easily dug the hole, shovels or not.

So there's a bone, a horse shoe, oil(?) and I have no idea what that is near the bottom right. A tire?

With one minute to go, Big Mac cries out for his shmoopy-do, Cherilee gets berserker strength, crashing through the barricade, then doesn't even open the door and just smashes through the wall like some kind of demented Kool Aid Man.

"OH YEAH!"

The Crusaders try their best to block their line of site, the berserk Cherilee sprints at them, sending them flying into the air, then she jumps and smashes headfirst into Big Mac. The clock sounds off the hour, and the Crusaders anxiously look down into their trap.

"I'm scared. I'd ask you to hold me, but I think you are the one responsible..."

They apparently don't remember anything from when they were under the love poison's effect, as Cherilee seems really freaked out that she's in the bottom of a pit in a wedding veil, standing next to Big Mac on a feather bed.

Cherilee asks the Crusaders if they know what the hell is going on, and they sheepishly explain what they did. Where's Twilight Worth, because the Crusaders say that they learned "no matter how good your intentions are, you shouldn't meddle in relationships."

Cherilee assigns the punishment of having to do all of Big Mac's chores at Sweet Apple Acres, so she totally wants to spend time with him it seems. Also, how messed up is that? Big Mac, we've seen in this episode alone, has the strength to drag a cart full of anvils plus oxen, and a house behind him, and these little girls are expected to do all of his chores?

Cherilee and Big Mac wander by, no surprise there, to check in on them. Despite them seeming to not remember anything earlier, they say they are going to go have a picnic together, and purposefully call each other cutesy names to gross out the Crusaders.

"Oh no!"

The episode ends with Big Mac and Cherilee walking off into the sunset as the Crusaders scream "No!!"

Aww.

What I learned from this episode:

• So we have now seen Christmas (Hearth's Warming Eve) and St. Valentine's Day (Hearts and Hooves Day). What other 'big' holidays might there be? Thanksgiving, Halloween, exploration/foundation related holidays (though I suppose Hearth's Warming Eve counts as the foundation of Equestria). ruler related days, holidays from the 'old country' pre-Equestria.
• Despite the Crusaders having to admit they fouled up, it seems like they were right that Big Mac and Cherilee should be together.
• This episode also explained why usually you see female ponies, it must be an off ratio of female to males in the Ponyverse, or just Ponyville, since the Crusaders struggled to find a 'good one' out of the handful of single stallions they encountered.
• Unless I missed it, it didn't really explain why they have Hearts and Hooves Day. We got a little bit of a back story in that the evil(?) prince drugged the fair princess, which started the holiday. What happened when they broke the poison's effect? Did the princess disintegrate him? Was it just such a good story, passed down through generations, that some ponies decided to make a holiday in tribute?
• I think I forgot it earlier, but why the hell was the exact recipe for this love poison included in this book? The book was from Twilight's collection though, so probably wasn't really something the general public would have access to.