Call of the Cutie

Dear Princess Luna..

Well, I think it's safe to say this will be a Cutie Mark Crusaders, or Applebloom at the very least, focused episode. Starts off at the Ponyville school, shows a bunch of the students' cutie marks, then Cherilee's, and she says they will be talking about cutie marks.

Hmm, umbrellas... or diamonds.

Cherilee says her mark came and represented her dream to be a teacher, with the flowers representing her future students 'blooming.'

Aww.

She tells the class that a cutie mark is a unique thing that makes you different from every pony. Wouldn't that mean the Cutie Mark Crusaders are going about it all wrong, since they all try to do the same things at once? Surely they all wouldn't get a mark for, say, paleontology. I guess it's possible though, and some of them are better at their 'crusades' than the others, like Sweetie Belle trying to bowl.

Cherilee shows her amazing teaching ability once again by saying every other pony had their mane like this. So take note class, if your friends all do something stupid, you should do so too.

During this, Diamond Tiara had been trying to get Applebloom's attention.  She wants Applebloom to pass a note to her friend, Applebloom gets busted, the note is blank, and Diamond Tiara slyly asks if it reminds them of any pony.

"John has a long mustache."

 After school, Applebloom is really downhearted. Twist, the other 'blank flank' classmate, tries to make her feel better by offering candy canes she made. Twist. Candy cane. I think we know what her mark will be. Diamond Tiara and friend show up, whining that they had to hear about cutie marks, and make sure to rub theirs in Applebloom's and Twist's faces. Diamond Tiara is having a 'cute-cineara' or whaetever, to celebrate getting her mark, and totally is inviting these two.

"We should push them into the mud, maybe that is their mark!"

At Sweet Apple Acres, Applebloom is complaining to Applejack about not getting her mark. Applejack reveals that herself, their brother, and grandmother all were the last ones in their classes to get their mark. Applebloom finally realizes her mark maybe, just maybe, have something to do with apples.

"Yours is an apple, big brother's is an apple, Granny's is an apple, we're the Apple family, my name has 'apple' in it, we live on an apple orchard, hey! You know something? My mark might have apples!"

The Apple sisters are trying to sell apples in Ponyville. Applebloom decides she will get a mark for selling apples, and starts scaring customers with her insistence. She frightens one into buying an apple, then scares away another customer.

"The apples are cursed." "That's bad." "But they come with a free frogurt!" "That's good." "The frogurt is also cursed." "That's bad." "But it comes with your choice of toppings!" "That's good!" "The toppings contain potassium benzoate." "...." "That's bad." "Can I go now?"

Applejack tries to explain to Applebloom that what she's doing isn't exactly the best of things, but Applebloom is already trying to swindle some passing pony, putting apples in her saddlebags and then trying to charge her.

"Applebloom!"

The pony just keeps looking indignant until Applejack has given her their entire stock of apples. Applejack tells Applebloom to go home and that her apple selling days are over. Applebloom is upset, and Applejack tells her she should go to Diamond Tiara's with Twist, since they both don't have marks.

"Suckers! I did put those into my bag!"

You can probably guess what happens.

Yep, Twist just got her mark.

Twist says she'll still go with Applebloom, and Diamond Tiara and friend walk up, talking trash about how being the only one there without a mark won't be super embarrassing or anything.

As opposed to looking like this in public.

Rainbow Dash sees Applebloom looking so sad and asks what is going on. Applebloom explains, Rainbow says she can get her a cutie mark easy, and that Rainbow was the first in her class to get one.

"It was tied directly to my destiny and the bond between my closest friends and I, but I'll tell you that story in a few episodes."

I'm guessing this episode establishes the Cutie Mark Crusaders, which would make Rainbow Dash Pope Urban II, as she tells Applebloom the key to getting a mark is to do as many things as you can, as quickly as you can.

"I, or rather the Lord, beseech you as Christ's heralds to publish this everywhere and to pers­e all people of whatever rank, foot-soldiers and knights, poor and rich, to carry aid promptly to those Christians and to destroy that vile race from the lands of our friends. I say this to those who are present, it is meant also for those who are absent. Moreover, Christ commands it."

They try juggling, hang gliding, karate, kite flying, roller derby, all of which Applebloom fails at. As Rainbow goes over a checklist of things to try, Diamond Tiara and friend walk past, talking about how special and privileged they are, like characters out of Judge Parker. Pinkie Pie shows up and says Applebloom looks like she would be good at eating cupcakes. Applebloom thanks Rainbow for the help and excitedly follows Pinkie. Pinkie doesn't have any cupcakes. Instead, she says Applebloom might be good at helping her make some.

"Why do I get the feelin' Pinkie just wants me to do her job."

Pinkie Pie sings a song about making cupcakes. We then see Applebloom trashing Pinkie's kitchen, making charred, miserable looking 'cupcakes' (which Pinkie eats and enjoys). Applebloom is ready to give up again, but Pinkie says she has something on her flank. Applebloom looks in the reflection of  a bowl and imagines baker related marks, Pinkie blows off her 'mark' which was just flour that had got on her. Twilight arrives and wonders what the hell is going on there.

Applebloom rapidly explains her issues to Twilight, then begs her to use magic to give her her mark. Twilight begrudgingly agrees, and uses magic on Applebloom's flank. It reveals an apple cart, but it quickly fades. Applebloom begs Twilight to do it again, now it shows a kite, which also fades, then a bunch more, which, likewise, fade. Twilight says not even magic can make a mark appear before its time. So cutie marks are some pretty hardcore stuff, being impervious to magic. I think we all know why, 'cause in the old days parents would probably bring their kids to unicorns, and if they didn't like the mark...

Apparently zapping a flank really drains you.

Applebloom is even more distraught, and says she won't even go to the party. She walks into the other room, and finds the party is taking place there. Pinkie also served their terrible burnt cupcakes, disguised under frosting.

Applebloom tries to hide and escape before Diamond Tiara sees her, all her hiding spots get blown.

Well, Applebloom, isn't no cutie mark better than this guy's?

Applebloom sneaks her way towards the exit, using the punch table, and as she makes a break for it she runs into Applejack who pushes her back inside. Applejack says, 'Look like your friends want to talk to you.' Show how much Applejack knows about Applebloom's life...

"This is going to be so, so, sweet."

Applebloom whips off the tablecloth and makes a dress out of it to hide her flank. She bluffs out Diamond Tiara, saying she has her mark, but doesn't want to show it off and upstage Diamond Tiara at her own party. Diamond Tiara buys it, but Applebloom trips, ripping off her dress and  bringing the music to a sudden halt.

"Jackpot."

Diamond Tiara and friend start laughing and gleefully call her a 'blank flank.' Two familiar, to us, faces appear from underneath a table, angry about 'blank flank' being said, and ready to rock and roll.

"You Earth ponies think you're all that, huh?"

Diamond Tiara demands to know what their problem is, they of course are also 'blank flanks' and defended Applebloom, saying she had the potential to be anything.

"I thought I was the only one!"

Twilight Worth intervenes, saying how lucky the soon-to-be Crusaders are for still having the joy of discovering who they are ahead of them. All the ponies gather around the Crusaders, seeing 'blank flank' in a new light. Oh snap, we learn that Diamond Tiara's Friend is really named Silver Spoon.

The Crusaders form up around a round table, and Applebloom asks if they want to find out who they are together. Sweetie Belle is excited and says they could form a secret society. Scootaloo suggests The Cutie Mark Three, Sweetie Belle says The Cutastically Fantastics, and then they all agree on Applebloom's Cutie Mark Crusaders. Scootaloo wants to celebrate with cupcakes, but Applebloom stops her before she can try to eat it, and they set off to find cookies instead.

Aww.

Twilight writes to Celestia, saying one of her youngest subjects learned that the thing that you may think may make you lose friends and feel left out, can be the thing that helps you make your closest friends and realize how special you are. We actually see Celestia reading the letter in her bedchambers or something, where she has a rug/bed, a fireplace, and a badass cosmos tapestry. The episode ends zooming in on her cutie mark of the sun.

What I learned from this episode:

• Where exactly were Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo before this, since they apparently didn't go to the same school, yet still ended up at Diamond Tiara's party? I guess it may make sense that Scootaloo was at some pegasi school and Sweetie Belle at a magic school.
• This was a pretty sweet origin story for the Crusaders, they obviously use the teachings of Rainbow Dash later on.
• The Crusaders better hope when/if they ever get their marks, they are for awesome things, because they have made early enemies of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who are bound to be the biggest witches ever when they are older.